so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
