I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
