I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Panties = found
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
