Plan B is the new Plan A
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
