She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
