I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
