yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Randomize
