That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
