Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
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i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
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I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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