So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
