I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I intend to get homeless drunk
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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