her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
