quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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