my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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