covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
