We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
