it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
