It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
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Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
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Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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