had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
