let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
time to smoke my breakfast
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
