You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
