weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
