so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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