I could have mohawked her pubes.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
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yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
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How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.