i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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