The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
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I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
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I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.