I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
