So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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