dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
