I'm really into asian looking animals
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
