I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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