me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
