A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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