State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
