It's a beautiful day for a hangover
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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