At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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