I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
