already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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