moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize