God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I understand Curling. That high.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
