If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
