Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
