Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize