i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
