dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
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He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
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Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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