My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
