Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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