it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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