btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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