You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's