North Korea, Best Korea!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!