yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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