If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
