Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
