I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
