just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She is in my trunk
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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