no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
