this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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