My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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