I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
