I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
