Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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